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Nikki Heart Steals Our Hearts!


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Jen Richards on being trans, the show Her Story, politics, The TSA, and Caitlyn Jenner


Jen Richards is a writer and actress who is the co-writer/star/producer of Her Story, a show about the dating lives of two transgender women, and was a series regular on I Am Cait. She is also a consultant & advocate focusing on gender and social justice. She was previously the Co-Founder and Director of The Trans 100, creator of the websites We Happy Trans, WTF Trans Dating, and Trans Love Stories, and co-hosted Sugar & Spice, an advice and news podcast with Bailey Jay. She was also the Managing Director of the multiple Grammy Award-winning music ensemble Eighth Blackbird, and served as President of New Music Chicago. Jen received her BA in Philosophy from Shimer College, studied at Oxford University and in Kyoto, Japan, and has published articles, lectured, and led workshops on a variety of topics across the country.

Hello Jen, and thank you so much for doing this interview!

It’s my pleasure! The role of adult performers has been huge in my life, and I’m always excited to have some overlap between the worlds of advocacy and sex workers. Thanks for including me!

Her Story is six episode series that debuted in September 2015 about the dating lives of two transgender women in Los Angeles and stars trans writer and actor Jen Richards, trans entrepreneur and actor Angelica Ross, and writer/actor Laura Zak. Richards and Zak also co-wrote the script. What makes this show so significant is that it was created by trans and queer people, who also play the characters. The quality of the series is a testament to how important it is for trans people to be able to tell their own story instead of having cisgender people tell it for us.

Emmy nominated Her Story

Her Story is in the running for an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Short Form Drama. What would it mean to you if the show got a nomination, and what can people do to support the show so it does get nominated?

We got the nomination!! I keep saying that my life is being lived in all caps these days. That’s what it feels like. Every day someone else hears the news and I get a text or email in all caps “OH MY GOD CONGRATULATIONS!”
So many people have said that our nomination feels like a win for them. That really touches me, and speaks to the level of investment we’ve had across the board. As the only independent show in our category, the only LGBTQ project, much less the only one created by trans people, it’s a recognition of what “the rest of us” are capable of.

Can we look forward to a second season of Her Story, and has there been interest in the show getting picked up by a network?

There won’t be a 2nd season per se. Rather, Laura Zak & I have a detailed treatment for a full version of S1, 10 30-minute episodes, at least. What we shot is really just the start of a bigger story, one with a larger cast and some very intense, never before seen storylines. Given that we have a story ready to go, a great team, and proof that there’s an audience ready for it, our hope is that with the Emmy nomination, and hopefully a win, we’ll have a few networks and media platforms vying for the rights. We’re just now starting to take meetings about it.

As one of the co-writers for Her Story, how much of the show, and in particular your character Violet, is based on your personal experiences?

Almost everything in Her Story is taken from mine or Angelica Ross’ life, or the experiences of our friends and wider network of trans people. I think that’s why it resonates so much. Whenever we do screenings, I watch the trans women in the audience for their reactions, and every time I see them nodding and snapping. As you know Becca, nothing in Her Story is that extraordinary or unusual for girls like us. Except maybe James! That aren’t many men like him. He is loosely modeled on a wonderful man I know, who married a trans woman, but it’s also partly aspirational. I created the man Angelica/Paige deserves.

How does it feel to know you helped create a show which has had such a positive impact on trans people and hopefully empowers them to believe in themselves and gives them the courage to keep moving forward?

It’s hard to process, but in the rare moments when it does sink in, it’s oddly humbling. I feel part of something bigger than me, and blessed to be one of the channels this story is working through. I really love the idea that it can directly empower trans people. I owe so much to the women who helped me when I first came out, and carried me through dark times. And I look to people like Bamby Salcedo and Cecilia Chung and Miss Major and realize how much more I can do, how much I owe to my community.

Sex work seems to be an issue which is important you, and was one of the storylines in Her Story. Is this because trans women are over-represented in sex work, or is it more personal than that?

Both. When I was first starting to transition, the only trans women I knew of were adult performers. That’s who I looked to because they were the most visible. I saw strength in many of them. And then the first trans person to take an interest in me, to push me to do something, was Jasmine Jewels, a trans sex worker in Chicago. I don’t know how or why, but she had noticed me on Twitter and would engage me. One day I was complaining about the lack of positive trans representation, this would have been about five years ago, and she said, “Are you going to complain, or do something about it?” She scared me into action! I launched We Happy Trans within a couple of weeks, which started me down this path. So in everything I did along the way, I tried to include sex workers and their perspectives. Most trans women I know have done sex work at some point in their life, whether it’s escorting or porn or cam work. It’s part of our community’s story, and I’m interested in both the why’s of that, and the consequences, but mostly just the human face of it all. And of course my BBF is a porn star, Bailey Jay, so it’s just a part of my life. As far as my own story and experiences, at this point in my life I still prefer to maintain some privacy.

As you know, violence and suicide are two of the biggest problems that the trans community faces, with 41% of trans people attempting suicide. There are organizations like Trans Lifeline which provides vital resources for trans people in times of crisis. What can we as a community, and more importantly, what can society do to address the issues which all too often leave trans people feeling like their only option is to end their life?

It’s hopelessness, right? Suicide is born out of a belief that ending life is preferable to continuing it, which means there is a lack of hope. Part of the reason the suicide rates for trans people have been so high is because of how little hope has been offered to trans people. However, as I discovered only after transition, it wasn’t that there weren’t trans people leading rich, full lives, it’s that they weren’t visible. The media didn’t have any interest in them, and many are read as cis in public, so they’re basically invisible. And while I don’t begrudge anyone else their privacy, or a decision to live stealth, that lack of visibility has consequences for others. And not just aborting those opportunities to give hope, but also of material resources, mentorship, networking, advocacy, etc. If you choose to be out and visible, then you’re more likely to give back, to help, even if it just means being someone who others can look to on social media, or in your neighborhood. When we move through the world, we’re often very conscious of all the eyes on us. I certainly am at least. But what I don’t know is when those eyes might belong to someone who is just beginning to realize their gender. Maybe you’re the first trans person they ever see, really see, and that becomes a seed. I’m rambling aren’t I? My point is that one thing we can each do is live out loud and proud. That act alone may save a life. And of course if you can do more, do! Give to trans organizations and projects, ask your employer to have trans inclusive health care options, vote for non-discrimation legislation, speak out again all forms of bigotry, hire trans people, buy their art, defend someone being harassed in public, and don’t allow anyone around you to mock trans people.

When you came to Los Angeles you had neither a job nor a car, and lived out of suitcases and off the charity of friends. What was it that brought you to LA and did you have a plan as to what you wanted to do and how to accomplish it?

None of that’s changed yet! I’m very lucky to have so much support here in LA. It’s the only way I’ve been able to continue writing and acting. I came out to shoot Her Story, as well as pre- and post-production. Then then I did a few videos for BuzzFeed, was cast on I Am Cait, got a great agent…one thing after another kept me here. Eventually I went back to Chicago, threw everything in storage, and came right back out. I miss my stuff! But I’m happy to stay focused on my work. As far as a plan, I’m not sure that I had one at first, but over time I’ve developed a pretty clear vision of the road ahead. Basically, keep writing and acting and producing until something takes off and I can then make a lot of money writing and acting and producing. I know now this is what I’ll be doing for the rest of my too few days on this planet. I don’t have enough time left to get out everything that it’s in my head now, and new ideas are barging in every day.

You initially declined when you were first contacted about appearing on I am Cait. Aside from logistical issues of living in Chicago, what led you to turn down the invitation?

It was such a media frenzy. It was a circus really, and I have no interest in spectacle. I had never seen an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, so I didn’t know the world I was walking into. I also hadn’t met Cait yet and the truth is that I’m terrible at hiding my dislike of other people. I can’t do small talk or kiss ass, so I was afraid that if I went on camera and didn’t get along with her, it’d show and I’d be the villain. And of course, I knew I’d have zero control over editing or how they framed our stories. That’s a lot of faith to put into the hands of strangers, particularly ones are working for a for-profit entertainment company. But then Cait and I talked on the phone and I genuinely liked her. Despite everything she’s said, I still have a soft spot for her, as I do for most trans people. At first it was just one evening. I changed my mind right beforehand, but my friend Zackary Drucker was going and she said, “Girl, it’s just dinner.” I went and had a blast. It was just a lot of fun. Then they asked if I would go on a road trip, which also sounded fun. One thing led to another. It all happened very organically, and when you’re just hanging out with friends, you forget about the cameras, and it’s inconceivable to you in the moment that what feels like a private conversation may later be seen by millions of people.

What was it like for you being part of the show and getting the opportunity to know Caitlyn Jenner and work with people like Jennifer Finney Boylan, Candis Cayne, and Kate Bornstein?

Fun! Lots of fun. I had known Jenny (Boylan) and Zackary for years, and hung out a bit with Drian (Juarez), but was meeting Candis and Chandi (Moore) for the first time. I was more nervous about meeting Candis than anything else! She’s one of the few people in our world that seems loved by everyone, and I had been so in awe of her on Dirty Sexy Money. She’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, just good to her core. You can’t help but love Candis. Same with Chandi, she’s just a ball of light and love. You immediately feel like you’ve known her for year. In addition to the cast, the crew was great. I really adored them all, and there were a couple more trans people behind the scenes.

Kate (Bornstein) is my trans mama, so I introduced her to Cait. That was one of my favorite moments of the entire experience. Kate was in LA for an event at Trans Pride. After she spoke I puller her aside and said, “I need you to come with me, right now.” Cait was staying over at Candis’ that night, so I brought Kate over. I’ll never forget watching these two women talk, both 65 year old white trans women, each celebrities in their own ways, but on opposite sides of so many issues. Cait was all about blending in, respectability politics, being palatable. Kate was about embracing being a freak. The show caught the moment well, but of course the few minutes they show is from an a few hours of talk. It was special.

I think we all agree that the attention Caitlyn Jenner gets from the media has played a huge role in helping to bring trans issues to the forefront of mainstream society, but she has also been a controversial figure within the trans community Having had the chance to get to know her, why do you think she has become such a polarizing figure within her own community?

There’s nothing innately progressive or conservative about being LGBT. Nonetheless, the marginalization that comes with it is often enough to make people aware of the need for legal protections, social services, etc., and traditionally liberals have been more supportive of those endeavors, and more welcoming to us. Contrariwise, conservatives, particularly in the culture wars, have used opposition to LGBT rights as a way to stoke their other-fearing, white cis heterosexual base. Long story short, there’s an assumption that LGBT folks would vote Democrat, and Caitlyn is a staunch Republican. Which really should come as no surprise. For all intents and purposes, she was a rich straight white man for several decades before coming out as trans. Her political beliefs were forged long before she personally had any sense of the marginalization that is so definitive for many of us, and her wealth protects her from it now. So it makes perfect sense to me that she’d support Ted Cruz and Donald Trump despite their opposition to … well, LGBT protections, Blacks Lives Matter, women’s rights, immigration reform…the list goes on. To her, it’s a matter of principles, like small government and lower taxes. But the reason she is so polarizing is that it then looks like she values her own wealth more than she does the health and safety of other LGBT people. I do take that personally. She and I have had some intense arguments over these issues. But I come from a traditional conservative southern family, so I’m quite accustomed to these arguments.

The entertainment industry is known to be fairly conservative, so how do you balance the needs of wanting to be involved in social advocacy for your community versus trying to conform to what the industry wants?

I can’t really think too much about either side of that. My fidelity is to story. I have write honestly and authentically. Off the page, I’m personally deeply influenced by intersectional social justice work and ideas, so those attitudes do find their way into my characters, my choice of themes and character arcs. It’s inseparable. As far as the industry is concerned, I’m led to believe they want compelling content and original voices. We’ll see if that’s true!

Can you talk about what inspired you to create the Trans 100 and what you hoped to accomplish with it?

I’ve told the story of its origins enough times, so I’ll skip that if you don’t mind. The intention of The Trans 100 was to give a glimpse into just how big, dynamic, diverse, creative, and giving the trans community was. The idea was that shining a spotlight on 100 different people each year, we’d shift the perception of trans people as these hidden, isolated tragic figures. And it worked! It became a resource used by the White House, led to a few job offers for people on the list, and generated a ton of positive media at a time when that was incredibly rare. More importantly, it was part of a larger shift in the tone of the trans community. Admittedly that’s a bit of a amorphous assertion to prove, but I felt it and I know many others too. Each year we would gather to announce the names at a live event which included keynote speeches and live performances, all by trans people. To be in that room filled with so many trans people, to celebrate each other, was transformative. I’m very, very proud of the impact The Trans 100 had, and I hope that in time its legacy becomes clearer.

What led you to step away from the project?

Health mostly. I was working full-time running a nonprofit arts organization while also doing We Happy Trans and The Trans 100. I wasn’t sleeping much and kept collapsing from exhaustion. I ended up in the hospital a couple of times, and the doctors warned me that I was doing serious damage to my body. Also, working with the trans community, or communities really, was … difficult. We’re all traumatized and often that comes out abusive ways. I grew very weary of the infighting and personal attacks. I was also upset that no matter how many times we said that it wasn’t a “top 100”, it was still treated as such. People’s feelings were hurt when they weren’t on the list, some people lobbied to get on it. It just got ugly, and contrary to the original spirit. I was even sued by someone who claimed I had stolen it (not only was the case dismissed, the lawyers for the other side apologized to me). There was once a claim that one of our honorees was a rapist, and I had to investigate it, something I was in no position to do properly. It all just kind of broke me, and I don’t think I’ll ever work with large groups like that ever again. Still, the public face of it was beautiful, and I am proud to have been part of it.

In your interview with TransEthics last year you made the comment “98% of all the hate I’ve received over the years has been from other trans people, and in response to the work that I was doing, all of which was designed to lift others up, and for which I’ve never received a dime. Knowing that no matter what you’ll do, your own community will try to bring you down, wears you out.” What is it about our community that seems to bring out so much divisiveness and hate among our own people, especially towards those who are trying to accomplishment something positive?

I think it’s gotten better in the last year. Or maybe I’ve just become such a recluse I don’t encounter it as much! No, I do think it’s better, and I think it’s because there’s less pressure on the few of us who are in visible in the media to represent everyone. That was part of the issue before, before Caitlyn, before Laverne got so famous, there was just so little out there. So many of us felt isolated, alone, either invisible or under attack. We rabidly seized upon any representation we could find and always found it lacking. Bear in mind too that for a long time, the only sympathetic trans narratives we did get were very narrow, typically older, late transitioning, white, lesbian women. People who were straight white men. That’s a very narrow perspective, and frankly not one that has a long history of community building. Now we have several people to look to, and many of our most visible are black trans women with a deeply intersectional perspective and commitment to social justice. That’s a huge shift. And there’s a real national conversation. The left has finally become explicit about trans rights, and with all the media, the public’s understanding of trans issues has seriously advanced. While we still have far, far to go, in many concrete ways, it’s better today for trans people that it was five years ago.

You spent over five years as the Managing Director of the classical music ensemble Eighth Blackbird, and also served as President of New Music Chicago. Can you talk about the role music plays in your life?

Music has been my sanctuary for as long as I can remember. My mind is a bit overactive, and is louder than my body or feelings, but great music commands my whole self, my full attention. At its best, it is a merger of intellect and aesthetics and something that transcends both. It’s also been one of the few forces in my life that I can’t easily rationalize away. It’s superfluous, its not necessary for our survival or propagation as a special. As best we can tell, it’s the result of excess, whether of joy or sadness or lust or time and money. Its changing form carry with it the history of human consciousness and how value manifests in different ways according to time and place. It’s the “yes” that alone serves as an answer to the question of why anything exists at all. This is all true of any form of art really, but music had been the steadiest companion for me. It was an honor to work for eighth blackbird for those years. They were some of the finest musicians in the world, and the finest people.

Sugar & Spice is an advice and news podcast you co-hosted with Bailey Jay. Can you tell us about your friendship with Bailey, who you have described as the one person who loves you unconditionally?

You really dug deep for my quotes! Bailey had asked me to appear on her earlier podcast. We hit it off and she asked me back the following week. Then she decided to launch a new podcast with me, which was Sugar & Spice. We only did a few episodes, but I’m shocked at how often people mention it to me. It was always just her and I rambling about whatever came to mind for nearly two hours, but people liked it for some reason. We have very different backgrounds, and would seem like odd bedfellows, but we just hit it off. She is one of the wittiest people I’ve ever met, has an incredibly sharp mind (she’s one of the best examples of someone who lacks education but is smarter than many people who do), seems almost immune to the kind of ideological myopia that afflicts most of us, myself included, and most importantly, has one of the biggest and kindest hearts I’ve encountered. She’s a rare and special person. I tend to isolate myself from others, but Bailey just put herself squarely in my life. I talk to her more than anyone else. We often talk about ending up quirky old crones together, rambling around in a big old house like the aunts in Practical Magic, cackling perversely and causing trouble.

We’re similar in that we both chose writing as the means of coming out to the people we care about. Has your family been supportive of you?

I’m closer with my family now than I’ve ever been. It was a journey to get here, a hard one, but ultimately worth it. My mom had to grieve the loss of her son, which I can understand now. But at the time, I was sensitive to any discomfort around me. I couldn’t tolerate anything less than explicit unconditional acceptance in those early days. How could I? Every day was a gauntlet of harassment and threats. The only way I could go about my day was to fake confidence. I couldn’t allow anything to threaten that confidence, because it would have threatened my safety. In time I eased into myself. After all these years, and because I’m often read as a pretty white cis woman, I have the luxury of my transness being secondary, or being able to take pride in being trans because it’s less and less weaponized against me. That takes a lot of pressure off relationships.

You’ve written that like most trans people, you were afraid of what transitioning would end up costing you. Has the cost been more or less than what you expected?

Far, far less. At the time I was first considering transition, the narrative online was that transition meant a total loss of the life you knew. If you were lucky and you “passed”, you’d have to start a new life stealth and eliminate all trace of who you were, start over in a new place with a new name. Or if you didn’t “pass”, which I didn’t expect to ever do since I started in middle age, you’d always be a pathetic “man in a dress”. Instead, I was met with a great deal of support and encouragement. I did lose some friends, but for the most part my relationships were deepened. People noted that I was happier, nicer, more present. I was also lucky in that my work was very supportive, which made a big difference. And of course my involvement in trans projects led to the many great friendships and opportunities that now define my life.

Did that have any bearing on why you didn’t transition until the age of 36?

No, not really. It certainly upped the stakes of transition, but my hesitation was that I didn’t think I was trans. Again, there were very few narrative available, and I didn’t seem to fit them. I went to a therapist and told her I wanted to know if I was trans so that I could just get on with it if I was. She assured me I wasn’t. At the time, a common diagnosis was “self-loathing homosexual”. The idea was that people like me were gay men who didn’t want to be gay, so we wanted to become women instead. It’s so laughably absurd now, but I assumed she was right. It turned out though that I wasn’t self-loathing in that particular way. In fact, I was quite comfortably bisexual. Then she reasoned it was childhood trauma, but I worked through that and it still didn’t go away. Then she theorized that because I was so relentlessly driven in my regular life that I had created an alternative persona where I could relax and just have fun, a feminine one. Again I went with it at the time, though the misogyny of that is so clear to me now, but still my desires wouldn’t go away. So I really, really tried not to be trans. I eventually decided to start hormone replacement therapy to prove to myself that I wasn’t trans. I often have to take things too far in order to know what’s enough. But lo and behold, after just a couple of weeks I suddenly felt right for the first time in my life. It was crushing in the moment, but I accepted that I really was trans. All of this is part of the reason why I say there is no wrong way to be trans, and why all my work has been to expand our view of what being trans means. I don’t want anyone to lose so many years like I did. I’ve come to terms with my own path, the skills and perspectives I gained as someone treated by the world as a middle-class straight white man have allowed me to do all the work I do today, so I trust it was all part of my destiny.

What was life like growing up in the south where people are generally very conservative and unaccepting of the LGBT community?

My family was southern, but I mostly grew up in Chicago. The attitude towards gay people in the south, at least in my family, was very much “don’t ask, don’t tell”. You just didn’t talk about it. It was less an attitude of condemnation and more one of willful ignorance. For me the harder part was the clear delineation of men and women and their roles. At family events, men were in the living room watching the game, and the women were in the kitchen cooking and talking. I naturally gravitated to the women in my family, who were all bright and funny and strong, and all great storytellers. I didn’t care for sports, but I loved the company of the women in my family. But I also don’t remember being explicitly policed for that either. I was just always the weird one, which gave me a lot of latitude in many areas.

You’ve stated that you were a very masculine guy prior to transitioning. Looking back, do you see this as a conscious attempt to deny your feminine side, or was it something which you weren’t aware of at the time?

It was very much a conscious attempt. I learned early to hide femininity. Again, it wasn’t because of direct efforts by my family, at least not that I remember, but more just a learned sense that men were supposed be masculine. I was a pretty typical boy as far as I recall. I had other boy friends and I happily played with action figures and guns. I excelled in sports, and I liked girls. It wasn’t until high school that I remember real agony over gender, efforts to monitor the way I talked or walked, what music or movies I liked. That’s also when I first began kissing boys and doing theater, so I just thought I was gay, despite liking girls too. I didn’t have language for it. All I had were those inchoate feelings, a desire to be feminine and a profound sense of shame wrapped up in it. If I had known about trans people then, I probably would have identified as such. Still, being “weird” gave me a lot of room to play with sex and gender. Artists have always had much more freedom in that way. I have to be honest, looking back I can’t really construct an adequately consistent narrative. Even as I write this, I’m having other memories that counter some of these statements. Ultimately all I really know is that I feel much more at ease as a woman than I ever did as a man or boy. Anything beyond that is going to be, at least in part, an effort of imagination.

Like many trans people you’ve experienced feeling guilt, shame, and self-doubt about being transgender. Have those feelings eased up since you transitioned, and how do you deal with them?

I was talking with Bailey about this the other day. I notice that I occasionally have these moments where the whole idea of being trans strikes me as so utterly bizarre and nonsensical, like a familiar word that suddenly becomes weird in your mouth. The idea that we could change from one gender to another is laughably preposterous, this flimsy construction only possible with some serious convoluted rhetorical engineering and destined to collapse. But the interesting part is that in those moments, my disbelief isn’t that I’ve become a woman, it’s instead that I was ever a man. That’s the inconceivable part to me. So ultimately I understand the incredulity of others towards trans people. I experience it too! But my clear, unshakeable sense of myself as a woman despite the absurdity IS the very heart of what it means to be transgender for me. I don’t understand it any more than anyone else. And I don’t need to. Yes, I still feel a great deal of residual guilt and shame, but less and less of it has anything to do with my transition. I deal with it in varying ways, from distraction to therapy, art, friendship, service, and simply surviving another day.

You’ve had several issues with TSA agents while traveling, which unfortunately is all too common for trans people. What do you see as the cause of these problems, and what can be done to resolve them so that trans people aren’t afraid of being embarrassed and humiliated every time they go through airport security?

It’s hard to convey just how fucking tired I am of having my genitals touched by strangers in airports. Well…TSA agents specifically. The system is constructed as if trans people don’t exist, and the TSA’s attitude has pretty much been, well, tough shit. An agent literally presses a blue or pink button based on your appearance, and the body scan then goes to someone else in some dark room somewhere to identify any anomalies for that gendered body. Which means pre/non-op trans women, or trans men who haven’t had top surgery, get flagged as anomalous and are subject to further pat down. This happens to me half the time I go through. Half. And as much as I traveled, that means I’ve been groped over 25 times in the last couple of years. It’s humiliating, and there is zero recourse. There was literally nothing I could do about it. If I asked them rescan me, then my breasts would get flagged. Telling them I’m trans at best deescalates the situation, if the agent is trained and sympathetic, and at worst causes discomfort or derision. I will say that the agents have gotten better at handling it over the years. That is, they are friendlier and less freaked out. Which is great, but they’re still required to touch my anomaly. This has been going on for years, and nothing has been done. Is there a clearer indication that the TSA doesn’t give one damn about us? I did finally cave and get pre-check, thank heaven. But that’s not an option for many, and still doesn’t make this consistent and unnecessary humiliation and harassment anywhere close to acceptable.

The trans community has made progress in many areas over the last year or two, but it seems like this year there has been a significant increase in legislation specifically targeting trans people, such as HB2 in North Carolina and all the “bathroom bills” that seem so prevalent lately. Is this the byproduct of election year politics, or a focused effort from the conservative right pushing back against the gains we’ve made?

Oh yes, clearly. Most of the some 19 laws in different states this year bear remarkably similar language. There has been an effort by right wing groups, under the guise of “family values”, to target trans people ever since the lost the fight against gay marriage. The right operates by triggering fear of the unknown. In this case, they created a figment of men dressing up as women, poorly mind you, in order to enter bathrooms to harass little girls. This is a fever dream that’s only possible to conjure when devoid of any critical thinking of direct experience with trans people. There are already laws in place protecting people from spying or sexual assault in restrooms, there is nothing preventing anyone from walking into any restroom anyways, it completely ignores trans men, assumes trans women are predators, or that actual predators are somehow only going to prey under the guise of trans protections and will be deterred by these laws, assumes that predators have no interest in boys, completely ignores that most cases of sexual assault are committed by someone known to the victim and there isn’t an epidemic of restroom violation…I mean, we could go all day. It’s a solution in desperate futile search for a problem. Of course what it’s really about is not wanting trans people to exist. That’s the heart of it. When you say certain people can’t use bathrooms, you’re saying they can’t exist in public. They should simply go away. That’s the signal they’re sending, and the one heard loud and clear despite McCrory and others’ transparent protestations otherwise. And this is very personal to me. My mom and brother and sister-in-law all live in North Carolina. My brother was in the statehouse the day the pushed HB2 through. I’ll be there in two weeks, and technically it will be illegal for me to use the women’s room in the airport when I arrive. I’m astonished that McCrory won’t budge, despite the billions in lost revenue. What a pathetic hill to make a last stand on. Peeing. That will be his legacy. He’s the governor who lost his state billions of revenue because he didn’t want me to pee in a women’s restroom. Congrats dude.

We recently experienced yet another mass shooting in Orlando, this time specifically targeting the LGBTQ community. What can we as a nation to do lessen the risk of these massacres from repeatedly happening?

The hell if I know. It’s madness and I don’t have any solutions. I think getting rid of the guns would be a great step, but beyond that, I just don’t know.

Do you have any upcoming projects or events that you would like to share with us?

I’ve just written a feature about trans women, and it got into the Outfest Screenwriting Lab this year, which was incredible. I learned so much, made a ton of contacts, and I know the script is going to improve dramatically when I incorporate the feedback I received. I have another project coming out soon, with Silas Howard. It’s a docu-series called ‘More Than T’, and a s series of nine accompanying PSA’s, which we’re calling ‘Trans 102’. It’s a great project and is part of a larger effort by the MAC AIDS Fund to raise over a million dollars for trans projects and organizations. I have a lot of irons in the fire, and new ones every day.

Thank you again for taking the time to do this interview and for being so open and candid in your answers!

You can follow Jen on Twitter at @SmartAssJen, and on Facebook.

And be sure to visit the Her Story site where you can view the show and learn more about the amazing people who created this wonderful show!


Tub Time With Yume Masuda!

YumeMasuda1 YumeMasuda2

Shemale Japan hops in the tub with Yume Masuda!!! Yume Masuda is a gorgeous little newhalf and quite a treat in this latest solo scene! Watch this sweet and sexy model pose in her swimsuit before cooling down with a little water and giving you a show! You’re going to love these pictures of Yume’s naughty swimsuit play that doesn’t leave much to the imagination!



Get Soaked with Wendy Summers!

Wendy SummersWendy Summers

Wendy Summers is ready to heat up you day with her blazing guns and this TS gunslinger always hits her target. Get ready for some wet and wild – and naughty – fun as she gets drenched, showing off her firm tits in a tight, wet t-shirt. Once she gets you riled up, she pulls her own shotgun out of the holster and shoots a load that is sure to rile up your rifle! She’s looking for someone to unload on her curvy body, are you the man for the job?


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Aspen Cums!


Aspen Brooks offers her lovely form to Shemale YUM and boy is it yummy!!! Aspen Brooks is a smoking hot tgirl with a banging figure, a beautiful face, and an impressive piece of meat between her legs! Watch this beautiful girl bend, pose, and stroke off for your enjoyment! You’re not going to be able to get enough of this rising starlet!



Shayna Comes Out on FEMOUT!!!


Shayna Pell makes a splash on FEMOUTXXX!!! Buddy Wood introduces Shayna Pell to the site and the world! You’re going to love this Chicago transplant to Southern California. She’s tall, gorgeous, and loves to be in front of the camera! Enjoy this solo scene of Shayna posing in sexy striped lingerie before stripping down and giving us quite the show!



Kacy & Butt Plug Enjoy A Happy Ending

buttplug-goodbye-screen-capturee-PSD has released its first self produced full length porn scene, Kacy & Butt Plug Enjoy A Happy Ending. Kacy strips her skin tight sheath minidress revealing long legs in thigh highs, tgirl titties and a tight ass.  Co-star “Red” butt plug fills it up while Kacy strokes, shoots and has a taste from her shemale cock.  “Having creative control of the project was exciting, especially using tracks by Creative Commons artist Kevin Macleod for the musical score” said Kacy. The very hot video is the newest addition to exclusive content found only on And $5.99 is all it takes to check it all out!


Becca Benz exclusive interview with: Becca Benz!


Hello Becca, and thank you for agreeing to do this interview!

Thank you Becca, I’m a big fan of your writing and it’s an honor to be interviewed by you!

Okay, seriously. I’ve been thinking about doing a question and answer column for a while now and I thought this would be fun to do. These are questions I routinely get asked, so I figured I’d answer them in a unique way like this! I hope you enjoy it.

Are you single?

Yes, I am currently single. I haven’t been in a relationship since before I transitioned, which is something that has been painful and discouraging at times. Part of it was that I gave up on dating and lost hope of ever finding anyone, and part of it was that I tried too hard at times. Dating is hard enough at my age but then you throw in being trans and it makes it even more complicated. But I decided a couple of years ago to give it another try, so I’ve been more social and putting myself out there in hopes of meeting someone. I met someone late last year and we saw each other for a while, and even though it didn’t work out it gave me renewed confidence that I could date and gave me hope. People tell me I’m so nice and pretty, and that they’re surprised I’m single, but I feel like I’m the person that is always “the friend” and never the one people want a relationship with. I’ll keep trying, and I figure if it’s meant to happen then it will.

Are you more attracted to men or women?

I used to intentionally be vague when answering this because I assumed if I told people the truth it might be bad for business, but I’ve been more open about it lately. I’ve always been attracted to women, especially feminine women. Men never interested in. However, a funny thing has happened over the past two years; I’ve become more open and realized that I’m attracted to people based on who they are as a person and that it was ridiculous to limit myself based on what was between their legs. Part of my reluctance to be with men was because I was more comfortable with women; I had a lot more experience with vaginas than penises. I know I can give pleasure to someone with a vagina, but I had very little experience with penises (aside from my own) and I was insecure about whether or not I could give pleasure to someone with a penis. But now I’m not so stressed about it because I know I do okay with penises too. So I now consider myself pansexual. Having said that, I still prefer feminine women, whether they be trans or cis, but there have been certain men I’ve been attracted to as well. And it’s been my experience that women tend to be better lovers, or at least the type of lover I prefer: lots of snuggling and kissing and touching and taking our time.

Do you prefer to top or bottom?

My usual response to this is that it just depends on the person, which is true, but I do not like to bottom because it hurts. Maybe I haven’t learned how to do it the right way or I’m doing something wrong, but bottoming is not the least bit pleasurable for me.

Do you consider yourself a pornstar?

I always get uncomfortable when people call me a pornstar because I’ve done a total of two shoots, both solos, so I feel like I haven’t shot enough porn to be considered a pornstar. To me pornstars are people like Miran, Kylie Maria, and Mia Maffia; people who regularly produce content that’s posted on sites and who also have a certain star charisma. I’m very flattered some people consider me a pornstar, but I just don’t feel I’m deserving of that title. I’d like to think I’m more of a goodwill ambassador for the trans porn industry.

Becca Benz on Shemale Yum!

Why don’t you post nude pictures of yourself on social media?

It’s a personal choice. Yes I’ve done porn shoots but I don’t feel the need to post a bunch of nude pictures of myself; it’s just not who I am. I’m more of a sensual person and I prefer pictures which leave a little to the imagination. And as a photographer myself and someone who can be a bit of a perfectionist, I find blatant nudity is generally not to my liking artistically or creatively; I much prefer to be more sensual and seductive, wearing a bit of clothing or to be posing in a way that doesn’t show everything.

Will you do anymore shoots?

After doing my initial shoot with Grooby in September of 2014 I had a set of goals which I wanted to accomplish and a long-term plan that I was focused on. I chose not to pursue anymore porn shoots because I wanted to see how things in my life unfolded. I did some other shoots such as bikini and soft-core stuff because that’s what I really enjoy and it just worked out that I had the opportunities to do those. I would be open to doing another porn shoot and have inquired about it, but at this point it’s out of my hands. I have had offers to do shoots with other models, which I have turned down. I feel a great deal of loyalty to Grooby because Steven gave me my first opportunity and I consider the people who work at Grooby to be friends, so if I do another shoot I want it to be for Grooby. That might not be the wisest business decision, but I’m old-school and loyalty means a lot to me.

Do you consider yourself a role model?

I used to be I’m uncomfortable with this one too, but I have come to realize that some people do consider me a role model, which is something that means a great deal to me and that I take very seriously. I try to do the right things and be a good example in how I live my life and how I treat others. I am very humbled and flattered that people look up to me for whatever reason and that I have the opportunity to inspire and help people in my own little way. That is what gives my life meaning; being able to help others and contribute something positive to the world.

How come you haven’t been on social as much the past couple of weeks?

Several reasons. I’ve been dealing with depression over the past few months and I tend to withdraw when I’m depressed. I’ve also had a lot of personal issues going on in my life lately which have required my attention and have been emotionally draining and not left me as much time to be online. And lastly, I made a simple comment on Twitter a few weeks ago which was twisted around by some people and I received a lot of flak and hurtful comments because of it, so I took a break from social media after that. I realize you need a thick skin when it comes to social media and I can deal with most things, but what happened was very personal to me and it hurt me a lot. I am back now but there remains a level of distrust and I am a lot more careful about what I say.

Can I be your slave?

You’d be surprised at how many offers I get from guys who want to be my personal slave. Seriously. I do have a kinky side and if I’m out playing I might enjoy having a slave at that particular moment, and would definitely love to be a slave, but when it comes to me everyday life I have no need for a slave. I do appreciate all the offers, but I’m not looking for a full-time slave at the moment.

How do you feel about dick pictures?

Anyone who knows me at all knows I hate dick pictures. If I get a dick picture sent to me on Facebook that person will automatically get blocked. To me it’s extremely rude and pretentious to assume that I want to see a picture of your penis. Rest assured, I don’t. And if you think I’m going to be impressed, you could not be more wrong. Anyone who has the mentality to think that sending me a dick picture is a good idea is someone I have no desire to get to know. If you want to impress me then engage me in an intelligent conversation.

Can I Skype with you or call you on Facebook video chat?

I’m a fairly private person so I rarely give out my phone number unless we know each other pretty well. As for Skyping and video-chatting on Facebook, I’m not a big fan of it. I have major insecurities about how my voice sounds, so unless you are family or a close friend I prefer to not talk on the phone or video-chat. It’s not that I don’t enjoy chatting, because I do, very much, but my insecurities about my voice over-ride my desire to chat. I’m much more comfortable meeting in person than talking on the phone or video-chatting because it helps me feel more at ease when I can read body language and see other visual cues which I can’t do on the phone.

Can we see more pictures of your feet?

This is another thing which was totally unexpected. I always thought my feet were kind of ugly, but apparently I was wrong. People seem to love my feet. Lots of people! I think part of it might be because my nails are always meticulously polished, but who knows. Back to the question, yes, I will be posting more pictures of my feet. It’s hard to get a decent angle when taking feet pictures myself, but I’ll do my best. I had a shoot scheduled in Los Angeles specifically for my feet, but that got put on hold when I moved back to Portland.

Becca Benz on Shemale Yum!

Will you be moving back to Los Angeles?

I will be back in Los Angeles for a couple of weeks in August, but beyond that I’m not sure. There are a lot more opportunities for me in Los Angeles, both professionally and personally, and I miss my friends there. I had a wonderful life in Los Angeles from which I was abruptly uprooted, and I miss that life a lot. But having my son and grandson here in Portland has given me a chance to spend a lot of time with them, which has been a joy, and the decision to leave them would be really, really difficult. So right now I’m not sure what will happen and there are a lot of difficult decisions to be made.

What happened that made you leave Los Angeles?

I was working for Venus Lux when my employment was abruptly terminated and I was given 72 hours to pack up and leave. There is a lot more I could say about what happened but for now I will continue to remain silent. But I will have my say when the time is right.

“How come there are times you put certain drama on Facebook? Not to judge or tell you what to do, if you feel posting it out will make you feel better.”

Someone I considered a friend asked me this, and I while I do see what they were getting at, I admit it kind of irritated me. Yes, I post a lot of personal things, for several reasons. When I got on social media I made the decision to be pretty open about what I share. I wanted to present an accurate picture of who I was, and only posting about the good stuff would not be accurate. So I post about both the good and the bad stuff going on in my life. I don’t post about every little thing and I try to be mindful about not going overboard about the bad stuff, but looking back there have been things which I wish I hadn’t posted, but such is life. Also, I’m a social person and I have always written a lot, so it’s natural that translates to social media; I’m big on communicating. But the main reason I share so much, and the reason which is most important to me, is that I have a lot of friends on social media who I consider important and treasured people in my life and I value their input and support. I learned a long time ago that I can’t get through life trying to deal with everything by myself, that I need the support of my friends and family, hence I post a lot on social media. I am not into drama and don’t ever post anything just because I want attention; I post about what’s going on in my life or things which are important to me or relevant in some way.

How can I become a model?

This is something I get asked a lot. First off, let me say you don’t have to be 22 and have a perfect body in order to be a successful model. Grooby is known for shooting models of all shapes and sizes and ages, so don’t dwell on the physical stuff. What is most important is self-confidence. You can be beautiful and have a killer body but if the confidence is not there then it’s going to show. The other important thing is to make sure you’re at a point in your life where you’re comfortable with yourself and you have no reservations about getting into adult entertainment. If you have any doubts then that’s a good indication you aren’t ready. And if you get rejected the first time you apply it’s not the end of the world. Take Steven’s advice and work on whatever he suggests, and then reapply. Below are links to Steven’s blog where he discusses the process of how to apply to be a model and a couple of other modeling related blog posts:

How to Apply to be a TG Model for Grooby – 2015

Being a TG Model in 2015. Working For Grooby & Other Options

Tgirl Models : Only Debut in a Solo Shoot & Do Hardcore With the Right Companies.

So You Want To Be a Male Performer (Revised Nov 2014)

Becca Benz

What is your life really like?

Well, to be honest, my life is actually pretty boring lol I’m kind of a homebody and spend a lot of time working on writing projects, reading, or watching Cardinals games. I’ve gotten back into cooking and have enjoyed playing with new recipes and seeing what I can create. I generally just wear sweats or shorts around the house and don’t wear makeup too often these days, so I look a bit frumpy at when I’m home. But I do enjoy dressing in something slinky and sexy and going out to clubs, although I haven’t gone out much since moving back to Portland. I’ve spent a lot of time with my son and grandson, which has been wonderful. My clothes usually end up covered in spit-up and drool, but I that’s a small price to pay in exchange for all the smiles and giggles and precious moments I get to spend with him. I could easily see myself settling down and just being a grandma, but there is still a part of me that enjoys the night life of Los Angeles and all the clubs and parties, so the future remains uncertain at this point.

So there you go! I hope you enjoyed reading this and I encourage you to send me any questions you have so we can have another question and answer column! Thanks for reading!


Tantalizing Tiny Tiara


Tiny Tiara is big sexy fun on Black TGirls!!! Tiny Tiara is a petite and sexy little model! She has a beautiful face, cute and feminine tattoos, natural breasts, and a play ready cock! Enjoy this sultry solo scene of Tiara stroking her luscious little member while she makes eyes at you through the camera! Enjoy the show!



Another Hot Himena Scene!


Tokyo hottie Himena does another steamy solo scene for Shemale Japan!!! Himena is one of our favorite little newhalfs! She’s all sweet and innocence on the surface but gets wild in front of the camera! This model does it all! Solo scenes, hardcore scenes, boys, and girls! She’s super yummy and we just can’t get enough! Enjoy the show!



Juicy Jessica Kush!


Jessica Kush hasn’t been on FEMOUT.XXX since the fall and boy have we missed her!!! This model just keeps getting hotter and hotter! Jessica Kush has an immaculate body. She’s fit, thin, and has a juicy perky ass! Watch this gorgeous girl strip down and stroke her impressive shaft in this amazing solo scene!!!



Julieta Strange Rides Lucy Blue!!!

JulietaStrangeLucyBlue1JulietaStrangeLucyBlue3 is proud to debut some hardcore lesbian porn of Julieta Strange and Lucy Blue!!! These two gorgeous women can’t get enough of each other and we can see why! Watch Julieta and Lucy gobble down each other’s yummy shafts before Julieta hops on for a ride! These two models are clearly enjoying each other and we’re sure you will too!!! Enjoy the view!



Grooby Wins 2016 Lalexpo Award for “Best Adult Content Site or Network”


Los Angeles, CA – Trans erotica company Grooby was recently awarded the coveted 2016 Lalexpo award for “Best Adult Content Site or Network.”

“We’re all honored that our network has been recognized at the Latin American Adult Business Expo and we thank everyone involved,” said Steven Grooby. “This is the first time I’ve attended the Lalexpo and my first time in Colombia and it was an extremely impressive show, in which I’ve made some good business contacts. The city of Cartagena is stunning and the warmth, generosity and humour of the Colombian people I’ve met is fantastic. I look forward to continuing to sponsor and attend future shows.”

Lalexpo is the largest South American camming event and takes place annually in Columbia with over 600 models and webcam studios total in attendance.


About Grooby

Founded in 1996, Grooby is currently based in Los Angeles and is the leading producer of transgender erotica. Operating over 30 membership websites, the company has numerous popular DVD lines and operates the, which gives models an unique opportunity to own and manage their own solo site. They are also the host of the annual Transgender Erotica Awards. For more information, visit

July 15th, 2016|Categories: Featured Post, News|Tags: , , |0 Comments